Stop It!

Stop It!

Okay, so this is not a great way to start a conversation, telling you to “Stop It”. But I can’t help it. As a Physician I meet so many women who want to “get better”, “feel better”, and  “be able to do more”. But I have to say that does require some work. If you are reading this you are likely someone who does want something better for yourself. So if you are wanting to make some changes and don’t know what you want to do, the first place to start is with What Not to Do!

Here are my Top 10 things TO STOP DOING;

1. Stop thinking about what you don’t want.

Try and move from thinking about what you don’t want to have happen to what you DO WANT to have happen. It is a simple shift in thinking but one you might not automatically think to do.  It is very easy to make this shift. Here is an example, I don’t want to be in this situation…now, clearly in your mind envision the exact situation you want to be in. Focus on that for a while even if you think it might now be possible. Let that all go.

2. Stop abusing your body.

Look at all the ways you abuse yourself. The way you talk to yourself, deprive yourself and put yourself down. Pay close attention to the fact that you either don’t eat or eat too much, ignore when you are tired and forget to have some “play time”.  How do you take care of yourself better? Start by asking yourself what in fact you need at any given time and try to provide it.

3. Stop thinking about what you don’t have.

We all do this. We are constantly thinking about what we don’t have. Not enough money, time, friends, work, relationships, etc. Never enough, often no matter what we have.  The cure?  Write a gratitude journal. Make note of ALL the little things that help you, make you feel better, support your life.

4. Stop being angry all the time.

Do you ever catch yourself bitterly speaking under your breath about the woman at the cash register in the grocery store? Or swearing at the person who cut you off when you were driving? I know, this is so frustrating. But let’s look at what happens if you STOP THAT behavior. You may be able to release pent up anger and frustration that is actually quite exhausting. Freeing you and the person you are angry with all at the same time.

5. Stop frantically filling up your mind and life with useless activities.

You know these days we are so programmed to move more and more quickly. Everything is moving so fast, our lives, our minds, our days and weeks. Some days, if you are anything like me, you will find you haven’t even taken a moments rest. One way to correct this is to ruthlessly take note of what you must do and letting go of some other things are not a priority. This will allow you room to be quiet and restore yourself. But if you fill up all your time with an endless range of activities, no opportunity will come for rest.

6. Stop living in the past and the future.

Do you find yourself going over in your mind yesterday’s conversation with your spouse? Your Boss? Do you notice how many emotions will arise when you think about the future and what will happen? Every time your mind is in the place of the past and/or the future, it is not in the present and so in essence you are missing out on your life. Stay in the present, it will help avert worry, fear and feelings related to the past. All things that could improve your state of mind and thus your health.

7. Stop being stingy

Being stingy means we may not be good at sharing. Sharing our material goods, time, love, money , not to mention sharing about our lives. I think sometimes we get afraid of this, that if we share we might not have enough left over. In this case, refer to the exercise recommended in #3. You may find that as you share you end up having more of the thing you are sharing than you ever imagined!

8. Stop dwelling on your problems.

I know this is a hard one. When something happens that is bothersome we get upset. And then what happens? That is ALL we can think about. For hours or days in fact. But rather than focusing on the problem, who’s fault it was, why it happened, when it happened and where it happened, try something else. Focus all of you thoughts on the solution you wish to create for that problem. Sometimes it is not necessary to know why something happened to correct it. Yes if a cause is known, it can help inform a better plan for a solution however it is not necessary. Look at the facts, objectively assess what you can do about the problem, put a plan of action in place and take action. That’s it! It makes it much less complicated this way and can ease your mind.

9. Stop Frowning

Do you ever find yourself scowling? Or notice the wrinkles on your face that are coming about because of the tense way you hold your face? Nothing spells “Anti Aging” like relaxing your face muscles and letting go of the stress you are holding there. Practice that. And smiling more never hurt either!

10. Stop being a party pooper!

What do I mean by this? You know, if you find yourself being down on everything, pessimistic, and suspicious. This brings you and everybody around you down like a deflated balloon. What is the cure? Laughter, fun, and joy. Try and find some everyday!

So good luck and remember, we are all in this together, we all have challenging times and need some reminders to put good habits in place. I have learned these things myself and am always practicing, the same way you are. Let’s remind each other to be more, share more, and enjoy our lives!

To Your Good Health!

Dr. B